


After 03x02 (the Reunion Job)

by PseudoLeigha



Series: (More) 2AM Conversations [32]
Category: Leverage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:25:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6641380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PseudoLeigha/pseuds/PseudoLeigha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot and Hardison talk about high school and relationships. Boy talk, basically. Is that a thing? I like to think so, in the name of gender equality...</p><p>Also Eliot being preoccupied by the looming Moreau.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After 03x02 (the Reunion Job)

Eliot was _not_ in a good mood when the rest of the team finally made their happy-go-lucky, all-coupled-up way back to the offices to debrief. Almost all of them seemed to realize that. Sophie winked and smiled and flirted, but sashayed out the door as quickly as she could, and Nate took a long, lingering look, and then excused himself to his bedroom, telling the three youngest to keep it down.

Parker, obviously a little spooked about the cow-eyes Hardison was still making at her _hours_ later, and sending slightly-concerned looks at Eliot, had ‘sneakily’ grabbed the last Tupperware of shrimp perciatelli from the fridge and jumped out the window. (As though he didn’t make three times as much as necessary every time he cooked here and leave the extras for the whole team, anyway. Goofball.)

Hardison, though… kid was on Cloud Nine, and not lookin’ to come down.

It was _fucking irritating._

And yet Eliot didn’t feel like going back to his place, which was cold and dark and designed for maximum functionality and a minimum hiding-places. He was pretty sure Nate knew he was hanging around more lately, he just hadn’t said anything yet. But the truth was, the hitter didn’t want to leave the rest of his team. Hell, if he could, he’d get Parker and Sophie to come back and stay with Nate and Hardison (who _had_ his own place, but had also effectively moved into the office since all his best toys were _here_ ) as well, so he could keep an eye on all of them at once. But he knew as soon as he even suggested that Parker needed to be taken care of, she would taze him, and Sophie would pat his cheek patronizingly and tell him he was adorable. They just didn’t understand – Moreau was in a totally different _league_ from their usual marks. He was fucking Moriarty _and_ the goddamn black market JPMorgan Chase all in one.

He growled under his breath as Hardison flopped down next to him on the couch, holding out a beer.

“Fine, man,” Hardison drawled, taken aback. “More for me.” He scooted a little further away. Eliot resisted the urge to ‘facepalm,’ as the hacker called it. This was what happened when Damian Moreau was back in the picture and Eliot had something to lose. He got all wound up and started pushing people away without even meaning to. _Damn it, Moreau!_

“It’s not you. Hand it over,” he ordered, and the younger man grinned, passing him the beer.

“You’ not still pissed we got to go to the big dance an’ you didn’?” he teased. “You jelly?”

Eliot snorted. If only. “No, Hardison. _I_ ain’t the one obsessed with fuckin’ high school.”

“So you ain’t got a stick up yo’ ass ‘cause Nate an’ Sophie are finally gettin’ it on, an’ I spent the night dancin’ with Parker?”

“Wait – what? No! Okay, for one thing, Nate an’ Sophie are not ‘gettin’ it on,’ okay? He’s still not allowed to use her real name – they ain’t sleeping together. An’ number two, you did _not_ spend the night dancin’ with Parker. You got one dance. _One_.” Talk about getting ahead of yourself. It wasn’t like they did the goddamn tango.

Hardison grinned. “I think you are. You’ jelly!”

“Goddamn it! I am not. An’ stop sayin’ ‘jelly’ like it’s a thing. Jelly goes with friggin’ peanut butter, it’s not…” he waved his free hand in the younger man’s face.

The kid just laughed it off. “Whatever, man. I’m jus’ sayin’, for once, it’s gonna be the geeky computer nerd that gets the girl, instead’a the quarterback.”

“Hardison. Alec. I’m gonna tell you this one time, an’ I wanna be as clear as possible here,” Eliot grinned. “It was never, ever a competition.”

Hardison groaned. “C’mon, man, you can’ even let me have this once?”

“No, I’m bein’ as serious as I know how right now – I am _not_ interested in Parker. Is she hot? Yes. I got eyes. Cute as hell? She’s adorable. Strong and flexible and tough as nails? Yes, yes, and yes. But she’s also an emotional mess, and she’s _still_ twenty pounds of crazy, and learnin’ how to be a real person.”

“Is this the part where you give me the big brother talk?”

Eliot snorted. If anyone on the team was Big Brother, it was Hardison. But he knew what he meant. “You gonna try an’ take advantage of her?”

“Of course not!”

“Then no, I ain’t gonna give you the big brother talk. _You_ don’ need it,” then he gave the younger man a wicked grin. “Might tell _Parker_ not to play with _your_ heart, though.”

“Man, shut up!”

“No, seriously, it’s not the physical stuff that’s gonna mess her up, it’s the emotional, relationship-y stuff she don’ know how to deal with. If you’re serious about this, you’re gonna have to be the one that teaches her how to do all that an’ actually fall in love, ‘cause Sophie an’ I sure as hell ain’t gonna do it.”

“Man, I’m not even sure _I_ know how to do that – be in a relationship.” Hardison actually looked a little nervous.

“Wait – what?”

“Whaddaya mean, ‘wait, what?’? I never been in, you know… a real relationship.”

“Seriously? Are you fuckin’ with me?” No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t a good enough grifter to act that embarrassed. “Shit. We got the blind leadin’ the blind. What were you even _doin’_ in high school? I mean, Parker’s got an excuse – she never went, but you had the same chance as everyone else to figure this shit out!”

Eliot couldn’t help but chuckle as Hardison arranged himself in a classic defensive pose, arms crossed and pouting slightly. “I was learnin’ my _craft_ , man! I spent my senior prom breakin’ the Bank of Iceland to pay my Nana’s medical bills!”

“Damn it, Hardison,” he shook his head. “I didn’t realize…” He wouldn’t have made fun of the kid for being such a geek in high school if he’d realized it was hitting home this much. “You aren’t actually a virgin, too, are you?”

Hardison glared at him. “No, _Eliot_ , I’m not a virgin. There have been… women.”

So… only like two, or else he was still trying to hide the fact that he was very clearly bisexual. Eliot wasn’t really sure which. Both? It didn’t really matter, anyway.

“Well, I sure as hell can’t help you, either,” he snorted, “’cause the last “real relationship” I was in, I got engaged, an’ never made it to the wedding.”

“Was that, oh, what was her name?”

“Aimee.”

“Yeah, her.”

“Yeah. High school sweetheart. She moved out to Kentucky with her daddy after we graduated, I joined the Army, she said she’d wait, I said I’d come back, and when I didn’t, she didn’t.”

“Harsh, man.”

Eliot sighed. “Just… try not to expect too much, you know. At least not right away. It _is_ Parker we’re talkin’ about here. An’ don’t let her set the pace.”

“Man, that’s like, the opposite of every piece of dating advice _ever_.”

He shrugged. “You gotta pay attention an’ know when to back off, but Parker’s not gonna let you force her into anything she doesn’t wanna do. Worst thing’ll happen is she’ll run an’ hide for a few days, an’ then ask Sophie for help figurin’ out what you meant by, I dunno, givin’ her flowers or somethin’.”

“You, uh… you think she’s interested, though?” Hardison fixed him with a very insecure look.

Eliot laughed. “I think there’s a reason she keeps makin’ out with you on the job, an’ it ain’t the atmosphere.”

“Shut up,” Hardison said, but he grinned and his face darkened slightly. Eliot smirked, and Hardison repeated himself. “Shut up, man.”

“Alright, I’m shuttin’ up,” he grinned.

Nights like this, he decided, were the reason that putting up with threats like Moreau worth it.


End file.
